I GUESS MY MOTHER WAS WRONG
The science is in: I am not a loser:



(Via Sixth Borough, who is just as quasi-cool as I am)

C.C. KRUPS. DNR
I know that people name their pets, and some people -- well... my sister and the Duke Boys, at least -- name their cars. But I have a name for my coffee maker. It's C.C. Krups, which stands for "Coffee! Coffee, Krups!" Technically, that name should be C.C. Krups N., for "Coffee! Coffee, Krups! Now!!!" But tacking an 'N' onto its name would just be silly.

Anyway, I am sorry to report that I have had to issue a DNR order for this close member of my family-of-choice. He's been going downhill recently, and it hasn't been pretty. He had a brief recovery during the latter part of last week, but this morning took another turn for the worse. Even after pouring a full carafe of water into him, he still couldn't give me more than a few gulps worth of pleasure, and even that was as thick as Cuban coffee. If I had been meant to drink Cuban coffee, I'd be able to speak the language. Which is Cubanese or something.

The whole think would have been terrible to watch, if I had been able to keep my eyes open. But it helped me make the difficult decision to put C.C. Krups to sleep, 'cause, let's face it: either C.C. Krups is put to sleep, or I never wake up. In this dog-eat-dog, man-drink-coffee world we live in, I choose to leave the weak behind.


C.C.Krups
2003-2005

BREAKING NEWS: CRISPIN GLOVER IS MUCH STRANGER THAN YOU CAN EVER HOPE TO BE
I know. That headline comes as a shocker, doesn't it? A dispatch from the Sundance Film Festival:

There's good news and there's bad news.

Crispin Glover's new film, "What Is It?" (which had a midnight premiere at the Sundance Film Festival on Thursday), features swastikas, the N-word, a dancing minstrel in blackface (who gets lynched by a mob of retarded people), organ music composed by Satanist Anton LeVey, two kids with Down syndrome having sex in a cemetery, a Shirley Temple look-alike as a Nazi dominatrix, a naked actor with cerebral palsy being pleasured by an African-American woman wearing a monkey mask, a dozen real snails killed (so the minstrel can inject them into his face), plus a soundtrack with original vocals by Charles Manson.

Asked after the screening whether the actors with Down syndrome had liked the film, Glover - who wrote, directed and edited the movie, in addition to appearing in it - replied matter-of-factly, "It isn't for them."

He added: "I've been working on [the film] for over 10 years. It's the first part of a trilogy."

Okay, so I lied about the good news.

I hear that Vincent Gallo is crazy with jealousy.

WORKFARE
Finally! A lesson the Bush Administration can take from the Europeans to get lazy people off the public dole and back to work.

(Via Drudge)

SIX DEGREES OF FARENHEIT



(Via the Tomsbtone Generator, which you'll recall we visited last July)

AN OPEN LETTER TO HOLLYWOOD
I'll be finishing up with my Oscar predictions soon, but in the meantime I want to get serious about something that... well, let me be quite honest with you: this has kept me up for the past several nights. I am disturbed and saddened. Saddened and disturbed. And just plain sick to my stomach.

What disturbs, saddens, and sickens me? The blatant anti-Christian bias shown by Hollywood. The Academy of NON-Christian Motion Picture Arts and Science has done backflips to avoid honoring -- or even mentioning -- one of the most creative, innovative, forward-thinking films. The only possible reason can be because that movie dared to recognize Christianity.

I'm speaking, of course, of "Christmas with the Kranks." Honestly, Hollywood; no nominations? Zero? Zip? Nada? That is criminal. In fact, it's such an obvious omission that you don't even have to make excuses. Your bias is so blatant it's... it's... it's like snubbing "The Godfather". Or completely dissing Marisa Tomei's performance in "My Cousin Vinny."

Yes, we all know that Hollywood is run by Jews who are into butt-sex. That's not a surprise, is it? But still, art is art. The anti-Christian bias of the butt-sex Jews should not be tolerated. I'm sure they would have been all "Oh-I-love-you-Tim-Allen-here-have-an-Oscar-and-please-can-I-carry-it-for-you?" if this movie was called "Holiday Season with the Kranks," or even "Kwanzaa with the Kranks" if they wanted to keep the alliteration. But no....

I'm so angry right now. I feel like boycotting something. Tofu, maybe.

Which reminds me:
"No Oscar battle for 'Passion' partisans"
(Via Ted, who has a hilarious reply)

PRESIDENT BUSH IS RIGHT, AND IF YOU DON'T AGREE WITH HIM YOU ARE UNAMERICAN, WEAK, COWARDLY, AND PROBABLY A TERRORIST OR TERRORIST-SYMP
There has been a lot of griping on the Internets about the policies of President George W. Bush, who is perhaps our greatest national leader ever. The problem is that everyone wants to nitpick, but no one looks at the big picture.

When you are President of the United States, you are also Supreme Leader of the Free World. In that position, there are a lot of big, big issues you have to deal with. Like war and the economy and taxes and tsunamis and protecting marriage from homos and one of the Koreas. As the President of the United States/Supreme Leader of the Free World often says, "It's hard work."

All of you bloggers -- as well as the 64 American people, none of them of Asian descent, without blogs -- have to take a step back and look at the big picture. No, make that the BIG PICTURE. To be an effective PUS/SLFW. you need vision, and leadership abilities, and, generally speaking, good hair. It does not help the cause of America if every single American starts griping about his or her own priorities. We must follow the lead of the PUS/SLFW and his close advisors, because they've really been thinking hard about what things they should do, and often work so hard they have to eat lunch at their desks.

Whining about the war or gay marriage or the economy or the budget deficit... well, that's just not helpful. It's divisive and counter-productive. Do you think that makes the PUS/SLFW happy? Well, it doesn't. It makes him sad. It makes Dick and Condi sad, too. So stop it.

I am here to tell you right now that this blogger believes that 'My PUS/SLFW, Right or Wrong' is more than a slogan. It's a moral value I believe in.

So clean up your acts, y'all.

Thank you for your time and attention. I'll check in later when I get back from the bank.

TRL: YOUR ONE-STOP SOURCE FOR ACCURATE OSCAR PREDICTIONS
This morning, the list of Academy Award nominees was announced. Now, you already know that I don't think artists should be pitted against each-other in soul-killing competitions in which the winners are clearly selected based on popularity, not talent, like some fucking high school class election where the popular kids get all the support just because they've been lucky and never had a zit in their lives and they had a supportive father who taught them to play football so they developed a natural athletic ability where the less-popular kids had to take piano lessons and they weren't even very good at it and they kept asking to stop but the piano teachers called them lazy and told their fathers that they needed to practice more or the lessons were wated and the fathers said, "We'll be damned if we're going to throw $10 each week out the window, so you'd better practice," and...

Um.

Anyway, even though I don't like these popularity contests, the fact is that the Academy Awards are the Gay SuperBowl. (I just made that up. Funny, right?) Therefore, as a homosexual, I have a responsibility to give you my predictions for who will win an Oscar. And why.

And, like my predictions last year, I am going with instinct, since I've seen maybe two movies in the past twelve months. It's my version of performing without a net.

And the nominees are:

ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
Don Cheadle in HOTEL RWANDA; Johnny Depp in FINDING NEVERLAND; Leonardo DiCaprio in THE AVIATOR; Clint Eastwood in MILLION DOLLAR BABY; Jamie Foxx in RAY
PREDICTION: The interesting thing about this category is that all the nominees play real people. Cheadle is some Rwandan guy, Depp is Peter Pan, DiCaprio is Langston Hughes, Eastwood is Burgess Meredith in his Rocky days, and Foxx is Ray Romano. That makes this category too close to call, but I'm going out on a limb and calling it anyway. Winner: Cheadle. Because -- let's face it -- the Academy really wants to honor his work in Ocean's Twelve.

ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Alan Alda in THE AVIATOR; Thomas Haden Church in SIDEWAYS; Jamie Foxx in COLLATERAL; Morgan Freeman in MILLION DOLLAR BABY; Clive Owen in CLOSER
Prediction: Having already given an Oscar to one black actor, the pressure is now off the Academy. Even though I didn't see it, I understand there's a lot of wine-drinking in Sideways, so I predict Haden Church will walk away with the statue. (Or is it a statuette? I can never keep that straight...)

ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE
Annette Bening in BEING JULIA; Catalina Sandino Moreno in MARIA FULL OF GRACE; Imelda Staunton in VERA DRAKE; Hilary Swank in MILLION DOLLAR BABY; Kate Winslet in ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND
Prediction: Another tough category, in which the godless leftists in Hollywood must choose among actresses who portrayed an aging actress, a drug mule, an abortionist, a lesbian-in-training, and a woman who gets her mind erased. Frankly, I think they'll be inclined to honor abortion this year, so the statue/statuette goes to Staunton.

ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Cate Blanchett in THE AVIATOR; Laura Linney in KINSEY; Virginia Madsen in SIDEWAYS; Sophie Okonedo in HOTEL RWANDA; Natalie Portman in CLOSER
Prediction: Sideways. Drinking. No more need be said. The winner is Madsen.

ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
THE INCREDIBLES; SHARK TALE; SHREK 2
Prediction: Only three nominees? And one of them was Shark Tales, which I heard wasn't even good? Damn. Anyway, Shrek 2 apparently made a gazillion mega-million dollars, so I figure it will get the Oscar.

ART DIRECTION
THE AVIATOR; FINDING NEVERLAND; LEMONY SNICKET'S A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS; THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA; A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT
Prediction: I'm not sure I even know what this category means. So I predict that A Very Long Engagement will win, 'cause I'm also not sure I've ever even hear of that movie.

CINEMATOGRAPHY
THE AVIATOR; HOUSE OF FLYING DAGGERS; THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST; THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA; A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT
Prediction: Okay, this category I understand. Uh... and A Very Long Engagement again walks away with the statue. Statuette? Whatever.

COSTUME DESIGN
THE AVIATOR; FINDING NEVERLAND; LEMONY SNICKET'S A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS; RAY; TROY
Prediction: I'm sure they were all dressed very nice, but c'mon: Brad Pitt in a toga! Winner: Troy.

DIRECTING
THE AVIATOR; MILLION DOLLAR BABY; RAY; SIDEWAYS; VERA DRAKE
Prediction: I'm sort of torn here between drinking and abortion--- Ah, who am I kidding? Sideways gets the Oscar.

DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
BORN INTO BROTHELS; THE STORY OF THE WEEPING CAMEL; SUPER SIZE ME; TUPAC: RESURRECTION; TWIST OF FAITH
Prediction: The only one of these I've heard of is anti-fast food, and therefore I am praying that it is destroyed, because fast food is our friend and is much more nutritious than we give it credit for and some day we will all kneel and pray before our One God, Mayor McCheese, and I am not typing this while under a fast-food induced spell and Mayor McCheese tells me that Born Into Brothels will win the Oscar because it will be the future of your children if you resist his will and must be enslaved into prositution. You will now forget you read this until you eat your next crispy french fry and -- oh yes -- you will order a hot apple pie. Amen.

DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT
AUTISM IS A WORLD; THE CHILDREN OF LENINGRADSKY; HARDWOOD; MIGHTY TIMES: THE CHILDREN'S MARCH; SISTER ROSE'S PASSION
Prediction: I'm going to have to take a pass on this category, since I think these all might be the same film with different titles. (And is it just me, or is anyone else craving a Filet O' Fish sandwich right now?)

FILM EDITING
THE AVIATOR; COLLATERAL; FINDING NEVERLAND; MILLION DOLLAR BABY; RAY
Prediction: Hmm. Films starring five boyish actors: DiCaprio, Cruise, Depp, Foxx, and Swank. This is a tough one. Fortunately, I'm used to making tough decisions. Um... I predict a five-way tie.

TO BE CONTINUED...

AND IF NOMINATED, I WILL NOT RUN
I don't want to sound too 'Brando' about this -- especially because I don't really know any Native Americans to accept in my place, and also because I'm technically still alive -- but I've been giving some thought to the nomination of my book Trust Fund Boys for a Lambda Literary Award.

I know, I know... I've barely mentioned that nomination on this blog. But, friends and loyal readers, there's a reason for my false modesty.

Bottom line: I just don't think artists should be in competition with one another. We each contribute to creativity in our own unique, dynamic way. We each put out heart on the page... on the canvas... in our music and acting. Who is really in the position to judge which book or painting or song or performance is better than another?

Would I be a better person knowing that my book was a finalist for a best GLBT Romance Award, but worthy noiminees like All the Wrong Places, Almost Like Being in Love, Confessions of a Casanova, Gulf Breeze, and Under the Witness Tree didn't make the cut? No, not at all. I'd still be the same great person I was before I became a finalist. Competition merely brings out the worst qualities -- envy, jealousy, anger, schadenfreude, murderous rage -- in human beings. It does not make us better people.

That is why I'm pulling out of the competition. I refuse to become part of the vicious cycle pitting artist against artist, making us no better than the cheapest politicians as we solicit votes and obviously suck up to the judges and stab each other in the back and work that network of insiders and...

Well, you get the idea.

My art means more than that to me. My art isn't a competition... it's life!



(And... oh, just for the record, I wrote this and definitely believed in these sentiments long before this fucking list was released.)

"WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE..."
Related? Coincidence? I report, you decide.

"Fire Destroys Billy Joel's Office In Oyster Bay"

"SILLY BILLY'S 'DRUNKEN' SERENADE"

IN OTHER NEWS, MARCIA GAY HARDEN IS PETITIONING THE COURT TO CHANGE HER NAME
Maybe these people would appreciate their street more if it was named after something really butch. Like the Enola Gay. Yeah, that'd be cool. Nobody would fuck with someone living on Enola Gay Road.

For the record, if I was on the Marquette Heights City Council, I would definitely change the name of the street.

To Sodomy Boulevard.

(Via Vividblurry)

IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL SOMEONE GETS HURT
Yikes. I'm thinking it would have been a good idea if FEMA had at least temporarily taken down their Tsunami Game for kids. I know that most of the 200,000 dead people were brown and had funny names, and therefore not all that important, but every now and then it's a good idea to feign a little sensitivity.

Oh, sure, the seal dancing in the palm tree is funny, but still...

(Via Gawker)

MONDAY UPDATE: Most likely due to the mockery directed at FEMA by popular blogs this blog, the Tsunami Game has been taken off-line. I commend FEMA for showing the sensitivity and efficiency of the American government by taking only four weeks to address this matter.

PREMATURE EVACUATION
What?!! Michael Powell is leaving the FCC?!! This can't be happening! Who will protect us from Janet Jackson, Howard Stern, and Married By America? Bono will run wild in the streets, and children will be subject to f-bomb strafings from Saving Private Ryan!

Michael Powell, we can't let you do this to us! There are still bloggers who swear! There are homosexual cartoon sponges out there just waiting to indoctrinate our children! Radio deejays are wetting themselves in anticipation of saying 'boobies' on the air!

This sucks more than the new season of The Apprentice. Today, I weep for our nation.

WHY LIMIT A GOOD THING?
Last night, while I was out drinking feeding homeless puppies and recycling, my friend and occassional TRL commenter Greg told me that I had too many links. This, despite my well-publicized pruning that struck the fear of God into my linkees and eliminated, oh, an entire five or six blogs from my sidebar.

You know what? Greg had a good point. So I'm deleting all of 'em!

Ah, who am I kidding? If Greg doesn't link my mountain of links, he can start his own damn blog. Lameass. My new philosophy is that the linky goodness should be spread across the land, for -- like the humble seed strewn to the wind -- Eh. Scrap that. I shouldn't try to do metaphors early on a Friday morning.

Anyway, I'm linking and you're gonna like it. I quietly added a few earlier in the week, and now I'm ending the week with a few more. Welcome back TMFTML (and why didn't anyone tell me that he was back, huh?); and welcome for the first time Almost-As-Famous-As-Me Author Timothy J. Lambert and my drinking buddy puppy-feeding friend Mark, who's just getting into blogging, so be gentle. Also, Mark's ('Zeitzeuge Mark', that is; not 'puppy-feeding Mark') second blog -- Itchycoo Park -- joins the Blogroll of Fame.

There. I think that takes care of business. At least until next week.

I PRAY FOR HUMANITY

Mr. Potato Head Goes to the Dark Side

(Okay, no more blogging today. Every time I turn around something new gives me another headache.)

GLAAD CELEBRATES ILLITERACY
The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) today released its list of nominees for its 16th Annual Media Awards.

Insert *sigh* here.

Here are a few things that I'm only going to mention in passing:

1. Monster, one of GLAAD's film nominees, was released in 2003, not 2004. Hey, GLAAD, why didn't you just nominate The Boys in the Band?

2. Alexander? Is that the best you can do?

Okay, I'm done with that. No, this particular screed happens to be about the types of things GLAAD honors.

GLAAD honors movies and television shows and newspaper articles and advertising. GLAAD honors theater and musical performers and comic books. GLAAD honors digital journalism and soap operas and reality programming.

GLAAD honors everything except books.

Yes, there is already a GLBT book award (and, yes, I'm nominated, so there!) But this isn't about me; if I won a GLAAD Media Award, I'd be very embarrassed for GLAAD. I'd keep the award, of course, but I'd still feel embarrassed for them.

This is about books.

There are all sorts of LGBT/GLBT/whatever awards for all sorts of things, and GLAAD has no problem doubling-up on some of these. For instance, there are gay music awards, gay journalism awards, and gay film awards. I wouldn't be especially surprised if there were even gay comic book awards given out somewhere. In these categories, GLAAD boldly goes where everyone has gone before.

But apparently if you put a book in front of them, their heads explode. The lack of a GLAAD award for literature is an egregious oversight.

Regrettably, this sort of thing is common in gay media, too. Try to find any real attention devoted to books in the Blade or Advocate. Try to find something deeper than warmed-over jacket copy at 365gay.com. And good luck to you.

It's too bad that GLAAD buys into this dumbing-down of gay and lesbian culture, where the silliness of Will & Grace and Survivor is more worthy of self-affirming praise than long evenings spent with Alan Hollinghurst or Christopher Bram. But I suppose we get what we deserve.

THAT SOUND YOU HEAR IS MY HEAD THUMPING AGAINST THE WALL
This article from 365gay.com is wrong on so many levels. Let's count them, shall we?

1. "Are you a homo?'' asked host Dave McKay.

2. McKay said he called Crist to offer him the chance to "set the record straight"... ['Set the record straight.' Get it?]

3. Crist... is considered handsome and impeccably dressed. [365gay.com's very own attempt to combat stereotypes. Thanks, kids. Then again, what do you expect from a web site that considers plastic surgery to be part of the 'health and fitness' regimen.]

Sigh.

I'm in a very pissy mood this morning. Can you tell?

THIS IS THE WEEKEND THAT WAS
I took all three days of a three-day weekend. In fact, I added a day by taking Friday off, too, but ended up spending much of the day in the office, so I guess that doesn't really count.

My boyfriend came to visit. Since I know how to show a guy a good time, I made him spend Saturday morning and afternoon at a funeral service and the reception that followed. It was only after the funeral service when I realized that he had never even met the deceased.

By the way, the funeral, etc., was held about as far from New York City as you can get and still be in New York City. I have coined a new name for this area: Queenshampton.

It was pointed out to me several times that I'm a Manhattan-snob. See above.

Brady and I spent Saturday night playing a game called Cranium with a group of my friends. I laughed so hard my jaw hurt. Unfortunately, a lot of the laughter was directed at other people, but... um... er, I mean I was laughing with them, not at them. You believe me, right? Oh yeah, lots of alcohol was involved, but I guess that goes without saying.

We barely left the apartment the rest of the weekend. Too cold. Someone fix that please.

All in all, that sounds sort of boring, doesn't it? The thing is, I really want to do it all over again. Starting now.

'FAMOUS POPE ROB BYRNES' DOESN'T SEEM TO BE IN MY FUTURE
Via BFT, I took the Belief-O-Matic test to see which religion most closely reflects my personal philosophy. As a lapsed Epsicopalian -- if that's possible -- the results weren't especially surprising:

1. Unitarian Universalism (100%)
2. Secular Humanism (87%)
3. Liberal Quakers (85%)
4. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (84%)
5. Theravada Buddhism (81%)
6. Neo-Pagan (73%)
7. New Age (67%)
8. Nontheist (61%)
9. Bahá'í Faith (60%)
10. Mahayana Buddhism (59%)
11. Reform Judaism (58%)
12. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (55%)
13. Taoism (52%)
14. New Thought (49%)
15. Scientology (47%)
16. Orthodox Quaker (45%)
17. Jainism (42%)
18. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (41%)
19. Sikhism (40%)
20. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (38%)
21. Orthodox Judaism (30%)
22. Islam (29%)
23. Hinduism (26%)
24. Jehovah's Witness (25%)
25. Seventh Day Adventist (20%)
26. Eastern Orthodox (13%)
27. Roman Catholic (13%)

But some of my best friends are Roman Catholic! Really!

IN MEMORIUM

A friend of mine -- Lisa Stocker -- was struck by a vehicle and killed last night. Lisa was loud and opinionated and could knock back the booze and smoke cigarettes with the best of them. She was also a fellow author, and our books share shelf space at our favorite watering hole. In fact, the whole 'Famous Author' routine began between us as a form of greeting several years ago.

She was great.

I'm not going to pretend that no one will miss her more than I will. So many people will, including her long-time partner and close circle of friends. I was just one of the many, many people drawn into her orbit. I didn't even have her home phone number. And despite talking about it for a few years, we never actually got around to signing each other's books. You always think there's a lot more time.

As I wrote, she was loud and opinionated and could knock back the booze and smoke cigarettes with the best of them. She was also funny and loyal and intelligent and passionate. She would also probably threaten to kick my ass for posting the picture above, but it's the only one I can find, so... sorry, Lisa.

This is rattling me more than it probably should, but -- in my own inadequate way -- I wanted to pay tribute to a great, great woman.

Rest In Peace, Famous Author Lisa Stocker. Thanks for letting me get to know you.


UPDATE: The New York Daily News has a nice article on Lisa. I'm glad her life didn't go unnoticed.

(And, yes, it is now Thursday, January 13. Keep up, yo!)

INANE HEADLINE OF THE WEEK

"Simpson, Lachey Sorry for Pitt, Aniston"

Honestly, I just want to know what Britney and Kevin think. Forget those pretenders!

I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE, BUT YOU KNOW HOW TO MAKE ME LAUGH
Google referrer of the week.

THE FIRST CELEBRITY TREND OF 2005
First Aaron Carter, then Paul Newman. Yes, folks, the first celebrity trend of 2005 is... the car fire!

I hear that, like celebrity deaths, they come in threes. Make your prediction for the next Hot-Wheel Celebrity in the comments.

I GUESS MIA WAS RIGHT
Remember a few weeks ago when the presumably lovely Mia was trying to nominate TRL as the Snarkiest Blog in one of the 32,967 blog award competitions? Of course you do. You remember everything that I write.

Well now -- via Downtown Lad -- we have confirmation that TRL is, indeed, a snarky blog. To wit:

You Are a Snarky Blogger!

You've got a razor sharp wit that bloggers are secretly scared of. And that's why they read your posts as often as they can!

What kind of blogger are you?

###

In other news from the weekend, I once again proved my discipline as a Famous Author by not only not working on any of the four novels I keep telling people I'm writing, but by also starting to write a screenplay. Don't you wish you were my agent?

I'M SUCH A BIG BOY NOW!
Thanks to Matt's nagging helpful encouragement, I now have a site feed set up. And I did it all by myself, which I sort of had to do, because I found the Blogger Help instructions for syndication confusing. Fortunately, I remembered my old college days and copied off another kid's paper. Problem solved.

Next week: long pants.

IS IT REALLY ONLY THE FIFTH DAY OF THE YEAR?
And people wonder why I drink.

STARTING OFF THE NEW YEAR ON THE RIGHT NOTE
Happy New Year, kids! 2004 down, three to go... oh wait, you weren't supposed to know that. Just forget you read that, 'kay?

Anyway, let's start off the year on a positive note. Via Fark comes this story from Costa Mesa, California. It starts out with the same old, same old -- assholes going ballistic because two children of a gay couple are enrolled in a Catholic school -- but, in a twist, becomes sublime:

The Rev. Gerald M. Horan, superintendent of diocese schools, said that if Catholic beliefs were strictly adhered to, then children whose parents divorced, used birth control or married outside the church would also have to be banned.

"This is the quagmire that the parents' position represents," he said. "It's a slippery slope to go down."

Look at that! A Catholic priest calling out parishioners on their hypocrisy. Absolutely heart-warming... and even better if a few of the parishioners get the message.

Not that I'm holding my breath, but still...

In other news, I had a perfectly lovely New Year's Eve, even though I did have to pay a small penalty for not kissing Bradykins until 12:00:03. I resolve to be more punctual in 2005.