MY PROBLEM WITH THE Q-WORD
The other day, Ted asked in a comment if my problem with Queerty is all about the typos. That's a question worthy of an explanation.

But first, some points of clarification:

1. I am certainly not immune from tpyos. They happen to everyone.

2. On the other hand, if you present yourself as a news source and call yourself a journalist, yet publish carelessly edited (or unedited) content 90% of the time, I consider you fair game for mockery. Sometimes the mockery is of the 'gentle tweaking' nature; sometimes of the 'eye-rolling how-the-fuck-do-these-morons-remember-to-breathe' nature. Depends on my mood.

3. Queerty is hardly alone. Over the years I've amused myself and my small band of occasional readers at the expense of Gawker (several times, as a matter of fact), Gothamist (ditto), New York magazine, The Advocate (many, many, times), the Associated Press, The Blade, Gay City News, and -- of course -- 365gay.com.

But let's face it: Queerty just asks for it. It seeks to be a snarky, gossipy news source, and I think that's a fine goal. Their downfall, in my humble opinion, is in the execution. Instead of snark they give us immaturity, and while their news content can at times be quite good, it is undercut by juvenile asides and frequent cluelessness. My thoughts:

* If you want to present your site as sharp and snarky, maybe you should have a passing acquaintance with the concept of 'satire.' Otherwise you come off as artless and, well, stupid.

* If you want to present your site as newsy and 'in the know,' maybe you should at least make half an effort to spell people's names correctly... especially when the correct spelling is right in front of your face. Otherwise you come off as lazy and, well, stupid. (Oh yeah... this was pretty egregious, too.)

* If you want to present your site as authoritative and mature, maybe you should avoid childish name-calling and... well, I really don't know how to describe things like this. And... what can I add about this? I'm pretty sure Queerty isn't written by tweens, but maybe I'm wrong.

For what it's worth, Queerty is a spawn of Jossip, which has given the world its own share of gems (see this and this, for example). Like blog-father, like blog-son., I suppose.

So, yeah, I mock, I joke, I tweak, and sometimes I even get angry. And while I'd like that site to get its act together, the daily Queerty readership is probably 185,000 times the readership of this blog, so they can (and maybe should) continue to not even know or care that the FARBlog exists.

In the meantime... well, I entertain myself, if no one else. As Little David also commented, they make a damn good target.



(PS: It was fun going through the archives and linking to a sampling of the news items I've mocked over the years. Good times...)

TIME TO UPDATE YOUR ATLAS!
From the Q-Word -- where they define themselves as journalists, to the chagrin of journalists everywhere -- comes a report on the status of gay people in the nation of Iranian.

Let me be the first to congratulate the Q-Word on being the first blog ever to discover a brand new nation. I am especially proud that, like me, they hail from New Yorker, in the United States of American.

Well done!

UPDATE: Awwww! After letting the error sit for a few hours, they corrected it. After I mocked it, of course. Fortunately, you can click to enlarge the picture below if you want to relive most of the past few hours:

VERY... VERY... QUIET...
Yes, yes, I know. There's been some major blog neglect going on here. Unfortunately, it's the end of the Fiscal Year at work, so that's where my energy is going. Also, well... I can't think of anything to write.

Soon, kids. Soon.

For many of the same reasons, my e-mail in-box has been backing up. If you haven't received a response from me, it's nothing personal. I'll be catching up when (a) I have a few free minutes and (b) my brain isn't fried.

At least I get credit for blogging at 6:00 AM to explain why I'm not blogging, right? Right?

Oh...

LILLIAN WAS THE ANOREXIC ONE
At a breakfast meeting the other day, I heard a representative from Vanity Fair describe the Gish sisters as "like the Olsen sisters of their time."

Graydon Carter owes the world an apology.

I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T CATCH THE NAME

ROAST FARB
Thanks to a poorly-configured HVAC system, my office is now 81 degrees. And a few minutes ago, the sun began directly beaming through the plate glass window overlooking Third Avenue, which is one of my office's walls.

So hot... so tired... want a popsicle...

NEW FLASH: U.S. SENATOR GETS 5-MONTH VACATION
I think it's safe to say that life is good right now for Montana senator Max Baucus.

STEP ONE: THE SET-UP
You know that old joke about the blonde who was going hunting, but after driving for a while she saw a road sign that said 'Bear Left,' so she turned the car around and went home?

Well, all we need now is a blonde...

EDU-EROTICISM
The Hot News from Rockland County, NY:

Suburban New York students who decided to play a prank by removing thousands of desks and chairs from classrooms had the tables turned on them when someone later arranged the furniture to look like a penis.

But wait! There's more!

Seventeen-year-old senior Erin Cummings says it was upsetting to see her classmates' hard work turned into a huge penis...

Poor thing. But at least it was a huge penis, Erin! Take some class pride in knowing that.

FAMILY PHOTO
Warning: the Maudlin Level is now at red. If that makes you as uncomfortable as it often makes me, you should skip down a post to see a cute baby being manipulated by its parents and forced -- probably at gunpoint -- to perform to the Unofficial FARBlog Theme Song for purposes of endless YouTube amusement.


Besides sharing a status as underappreciated-but-brilliant Kensington authors, Becky Cochrane and I have both gone through the passing of our mothers in recent weeks. At Saints & Sinners, she was a great source of quiet comfort to me. As I wrote her last night,

I knew your mother was quite ill; I didn't know it was quite that close. Maybe you didn't, either. And yet you (and Tim) were there for me in a way I needed at the time... caring and close, and respecting my space. I regret I can't be there for you in the same way right now, but I know you are surrounded by people who love you and your mother. And who will give you your own space to grieve.

I also let her know that, in the month since my mother died, I hadn't cried. Until yesterday. There was something about Becky's tribute to her mother that let me finally find some release. A beautiful woman's simple, loving words about another beautiful woman can do that to a person. Even without trying, Becks can rock my world with a few words. She's my hero in too many ways.

Now... don't worry: I'm not going to turn this into an all-mother/all-the-time blog. We're all grown-ups; we know what's going to happen to everyone eventually. To me before you, probably. Not to mention, as an adult I wasn't a mama's boy (not really a papa's boy, either, but that's a subject for another day. My gene pool came complete with teh geigh and teh issues.)

Still, I think one final(ish) upload is in order. As I noted last month, the family got in some good quality time before things went downhill again, and a few cameras came out in the process. I've had this for a few weeks, but, well... didn't want to deal with it. Thanks to Becky, maybe now I can.

So here is the final photo of my mother, my sister Marje, and me, from last March, just after her 71st birthday.



And... that's that.

COOLEST BABY EVER
Click on the embedded link and find out why...


(and so a FARBlog tradition continues.)

GOOD NEWS IN TV LAND?
We hear that there's no reason the Kirstie Alley star vehicle "Fat Actress" can't return to the small screen.

With the original cast.

SQUIRREL 5, DUMBASS 0
I wish I had a biting comment to make about this article, but... no, I've got nothing.

And in any event, the Deputy Fire Chief got the best line:

“When the fire department went in and opened up all of the windows, the squirrel decided to leave,” Williams said. “I guess he figured his work there was done.”