BUSH FAMILY VALUES
Tell me again why I can't get married, Mr. President. Could I possibly devalue the institution of marriage as much as your brother?

MEMO TO JONAH GOLDBERG (no, I haven't forgotten): Please add Neil Bush to the list of people who should not have marriage as an option.

MICHAEL JACKSON IN TRAINING?
Robson -- who The Daily Telegraph said was the star of 'The Wade Robson Project' on MTV -- said he did not think it was "weird" for a grown man to share the same bed as a child. (Read it here.)

Of course not, Wade. Of course not.

MEMO TO LISA MARIE: Good news, honey, we've found you some more husband material!

MONTANA LOVIN'
As a New Yorker, I know I'm often guilty of treating the flyover states like, well, something to fly over. Not drive though, but fly over. Very, very fast.

Sometimes I feel bad about that. But then I'll read something that completely validates my thoughts, and, well...

Can those planes fly any faster?
(Via NRO, your source for all things perverted)

A VERY TRL THANKSGIVING
Once again, I will not be home for the holiday. No, I'll be sitting in my tiny apartment. In the dark. Eating pressed turkey slices and crying. But don't feel sorry for me. I'll be all right.

In the meantime, bloggers are celebrating the holiday. Go visit.

Bunsen brings you a Thanksgiving that will warm your heart.

At A Small Victory, Michele wants to know what you're thankful for. Tell her. And you have my permission to add my name to your list.

UPDATE: Michael the Country Boy is looking forward to turkey of the "Wild --" variety.

UPDATE #2: Gawker foresees my Thanksgiving. Except for the step class.

More as I come across them.

FUN COUPLE OF THE YEAR: ARIZONA EDITION
He's been known to throw a few back, then jump behind the wheel to feel the wind in his hair!

She takes a back seat to no one, and can keep pace with him at the bar or on the road!

He knew he needed a small vacation, but by the time he got to Phoenix it started to look like vacation was going to be 30 days in a small, spartan room.

She might not have known where she was going to in Tuscon the last time I saw her, but Greyhound can take care of that in the future.

They sing... they drink... no, they really drink... they drive...

Ladies and gentlemen, Arizona's Fun Couple of 2003: Glen and Diana.



Cute, aren't they? And I bet they'd throw one hell of a wedding reception.

SEE DICK! SEE JANE! SEE McSWEENEY'S UPDATE THEIR ADVENTURES!
THE DICK AND
JANE READER FOR
ADVANCED STUDENTS.
(Via Kottke)

NOTE TO MICHAEL, THE COUNTRY BOY/KENTUCKY EXPATRIATE
Bathe. And don't dye your chicks.

It's the law!
(Via Drudge)

TICK... TICK... TICK...
Countdown to my 45th birthday: 13 days.

Eek!

To help you in your shopping, here are a few things you need to know:

33 inch waist; 34 inch inseam
16-1/2 collar; 34/35 arms
suits: 40-long
boxer-briefs: medium
cash: smaller bills, nonsequential
beverages are always a good idea
Michael Holland's new CD will be released soon

Or you can just buy books for your friends, and know that I'll be appreciative a year from now when I get my royalty check.

MY EYES! MY EYES!
Drag is about to take a major step back.

KARMA: IT'S A BITCH

HEADLINE OF THE WEEK:

Cannibal Regrets Eating Lover

Er... that is, this is Headline of the Week pending the next Michael Jackson debacle.

WELCOME, GOOGLERS
And welcome, too, to the kids searching for things on Yahoo, AOL, and random other search engines. As you no doubt know by now, The Rob Log is your authoritative source for all kinds of information.

So for those of you looking for PHOTOS OF TIMOTHY TREADWELL, former friend of Leo and way former friend of wildlife, TRL has the link. Click here.

If you are looking for MAFIA CUT OFF PENIS PHOTOS, well... I don't know if I can help you on the 'Mafia' part (although a threat by a mobster's daughter to have said act performed was included in a certain novel , but for the rest, please click here.

HOWARD DEAN HEIGHT AND WEIGHT? "Howard Dean is short, his smile is a bit goofy, he has a thick neck, and he looks stiff (because a vertabra is fused)." For more, click here.

D-NASTY + ELIZABETH SPIERS? Got the scoop right here.

Regrettably, TRL cannot help you find CONSERVATIVE ANTONIO SABATO, JR. But I tried. I really did.

IT'S A SMALL, SMALL, SMALL, SMALL WORLD
I'll let the BoiFromTroy tell the story, which he posted late last Friday (11/21):


So I go to HERE tonight for a cocktail and see a guy sitting all alone, so, out of character, I join him and introduce myself.

He;s Micheal from New York. We talk for awhile and I ask, "do you know famous author Rob Byrnes?!?"

"I think so," he says.

"Yeah, his next book is 'Trust Fund Boys'" I say...

He replies, "well, yes...he hangs out in a bar in my neighborhood."

"Hell's kitchen?" I ask.

"Yes," he replies.

"And they just put up some new artowrk, eh?"

"Indeed," he replies in a Glenn Reynolds sort of way.

Since I may well be meeting the "famous author" in 20 days, I told Mike to give a good report back!


Ain't that strange?

After discussing it in his comments section, I think I know the person in question, who happens to be someone I dated for about three days. [Note: 'date' means that dinner was in fact involved on at least one occasion.]

By the way, I don't read Instapundit, so I don't know what a "Glenn Reynolds sort of way" means. So don't ask me; ask the Boi.

A FEW MORE MICHAEL JACKSON ITEMS
('Cause, Really, Can We Ever Get Enough?)

Treacher's written his definitive theme song
(Via A Small Victory, although I really should get back to reading Treacher on a regular basis again)

Big Mama to the rescue at last!
(Via Drudge)

BUNSEN [DOT] TV MORE THAN EARNS ITS LINK...
... with this:

Michael Jackson Song Titles That Will Conveniently Double as His Prison Bitch Name

(There is nothing that is not screamingly funny at that site. Why did it take me so long to stumble upon it?)

OH, YUMMY...
Anyone up for Friendly's?

LINKS 'N' STUFF
It's a beautiful Friday afternoon here in Manhattan, so I guess it's a good time to update a the TRL Recommended Reads.

First up: linkages of the reciprocal variety... or at least sites I've come to know via e-mail, none of whom apparently have a keyboard with a Shift key:
emptybeach
mumblesalot

Next, a couple of sites I've discovered recently that crack my ass up:
D-Nasty
bunsen{dot}tv (another missing Shift key...)

Finally, I regret to inform you that Sketches of Strain has left the building. So long, David. Relax and enjoy.

OH, SHIT
As of this moment, I am the #115 Yahoo search result for 'handsome older gay men.'

Which is better than 'ugly older gay men,' I suppose.

Which reminds me: Countdown to 45: 17 days.

Oh, shit...

RUINATION OF MY SAFE HAVEN
I hate to say this, but I may need a new home away from home.

As many of the six daily TRL readers know, my regular hangout is the Hell's Kitchen bar Posh. Well, in an effort to class the place up, Posh is now featuring an art installation by the artist Olan. So look at the mixed media image hovering over my shoulder now as I sip my chardonnay:



Sad but true. Cumming has invaded my domain.

....BREAKING NEWS....

FOR YOUR FRIDAY NIGHT PLANNING
So Tracy Westmoreland -- who sprung the famous dive bar-slash-celebrity hangout Siberia on the world -- has opened a new gay bar sorta kinda next door.

I missed the Grand Opening of "Dorothy" last weekend and for that, I'm getting lots of abuse not only from my roommate, who's a bit too known at Siberia, but from prime bartender Floyd (my secret boyfriend). To make amends, I'll be there Friday night. Meet me there. But don't fuck around, 'cause I'm getting there 9-ish and out of there around 11. (I'm old. I need my beauty sleep, y'all.)

WHEN BAD-BOY BLOGGERS GO BADDER
Faustus may have been busted. Or maybe not. In a post worthy of a season-ending cliffhanger, we find our hero...

Well, read for yourself.

LOGICAL PROGRESSION
Police: Man Kills Puppy With Ax
Police: Fla. Man Tries To Behead His Aunt's Dog
Ant-Beheading Flies Released In Fla. County

Yeah, I understand that there's some sort of news out of Massachusetts today, too. But really... isn't news out of Florida so much more interesting?

(Oh, okay... Yay, Massachusetts! Here's an on-line poll you can help me manipulate if you're so inclined.)

HILTON SISTER HAIKU
Whatever...

UPDATE: (Oops. Scroll down to the Friday, November 14 posts. D-NASTY seems to have the same blogger permalink problem as I do...)

MORE, MORE, MORE...
Little or nothing here until Friday, due to that pesky work thing. But before I depart, I have some good news: a new batch of worst album covers have been posted. Enjoy!

"WALK INTO THE LIGHT..."



I have returned from our nation's capitol to our nation's real capitol. And damn, it was cold.

As always, it was nice spending time with the boyfriend. This weekend, though, had a special twist:

This was the weekend I almost died.

Don't get me wrong: I don't intend to live forever. In fact, I'd wager that I long ago passed the half-way mark on this journey. But I wasn't planning on dying over dinner on a cold Saturday night, either.

Here's what happened. After a few hours of Happy Hour at JR's, Bradykins and I decided to grab dinner. Fortunately, just down the street is Annie's, home of an outstanding... prime rib dinner. [cue ominous music]

One bite -- one bite -- into my prime rib and I knew I had a problem, as a throat-sized piece of meat wedged in my throat. I tried to swallow it down, then tried to cough it up, but the meat was going nowhere. And there was no breathing going on, either. And no noise... no grunts or other signs of distress.

I think it was about then when I realized I wasn't going to get out of the predicament without help. I looked over to Brady and tried to pantomime my distress, but he was too busy buffing his nails as shocked as I was, and, well... neither of us wanted to make a big scene over it. I thought maybe some water would help, but the water just sat in my sealed throat, until I managed to spit some of it back up... which fortunately alerted the diner next to me of my dilemma. He, in turn, solved the problem the old fashion way: with a couple of sharp smacks on my back.

Once I could breathe again, I no longer wanted prime rib. From now on, I think I'll stick with soup.

Scary stuff. Could have been scarier:



And how was your weekend?

I'M BACK AND ALMOST HUMAN
A head cold knocked me out yesterday. Oh, I was at work, but I was mostly worthless. Minor accomplishments, accompanied by lots of clicks on my links to see if anyone was updating. So if you noticed 40 referrals from this site yesterday, I'm the guilty party. Sorry.

Anyway, today I'm making up for yesterday's lagging productivity, so you won't here much from me. And this afternoon I'm off to see Bradykins in DC, so it will be Monday before TRL is back in action.

In the meantime... I really try to keep my professional career separate from my writing and, well, this site. But if you're in Manhattan, you can find a picture of me doing day job-type things in the Manhattan Media newspapers. (Actually, I was photographed at a cocktail party -- go figure -- but it was work-related, so there!)

Ciao for now!

ONE LAST REPORT FROM ELECTION '04
How soon they forget. Remember all the hoopla a few months ago about Jim Morrison, a Democrat running for the New Jersey State Senate who, it so happens, was not only a former contestant on The Mole, but also a two-time winner of a "Prettiest Penis" contest?

(And not to be too catty here, but the penis must have looked a hell of a lot better than the face. Know what I mean?)

Anyway, the rest of the world has forgotten him, but here at TRL -- your source for breaking news -- I don't forget. I have diligently searched thousands of records, and can now report that Morrison was defeated by a margin of better than two-to-one. Actually, that's more than a defeat. It's sort of a major beating.

But at least he still has his penis. And if "Prettiest Penis" is the only election he'll ever win, well... he's still doing better than many others.

MYSTERY SOLVED
All day long I've been aware of a slight ringing in my ears. It was almost imperceptible, but it was there. Nice, I thought, I'm turning into one of those people who slowly go deaf as I'm simultaneously driven mad by tintinitis.

And then I looked out my office window, and all was explained. They're back.

Not that that doesn't mean I still won't be driven mad and deaf, but at least it won't be because of a medical condition.

GOOD NEWS! GOOD NEWS!
I just wish I had the nerve to send this to my bosses.

TRL: NEW AND IMPROVED, NOW WITH COMMENTS!
Thanks for the tip, Arjan!

OH, THIS MAKES ME FEEL SAFE
Let's see... I'm in New York... my boyfriend is in DC...

Does anyone know how the quality of life is in Topeka?
(Via NRO)

THE REPUBLICANS PICK UP ANOTHER ONE
No, not Haley Barbour. Not Ernie Fletcher. It's Paul Wenger. The Onion has the story:

Karl Rove Ensures Republican Elected As Student Body President

McALLEN, TX—Thanks to the intervention of White House political
advisor Karl Rove, McAllen East Middle School elected a Republican
student body president Monday. "I'd like to give a special shout-out
to Mr. Rove, for helping me beat [incumbent president] Luis Mendes,"
Paul Wenger said in his victory speech. "Thanks to him, I was totally
able to expose Luis' idea of using candy funds to buy uniforms for
needy students. As your president, I'll make sure that that money
goes back into the school, where it belongs—and into the biggest
pizza party that McAllen East has ever seen." Rove denied any
involvement in the election.

Speaking of elections, thanks for asking, but my sister went down to not-unexpected defeat last night in her campaign for re-election as a Rochester City Court Judge. Hey -- sometimes the best candidate doesn't win. I know, because on more than a few occasions, I've been responsible for that.

THE REVOLVING DOOR THAT IS MY APARTMENT
So I woke up at 4:00 AM, mostly because I was in bed before 10:00 PM last night, but also because my apartment was like an oven. Also, I had to pee, but that's probably TMI.

Anyway, five minutes later my roommate arrived home.

I'm thinking I should have just rented a one-bedroom, since we seem to be using the apartment in shifts.

SAY IT AIN'T SO, ELIZABETH!!
Over at The Kicker, Elizabeth Spiers has just unearthed a week-old news story about that guy that dropped his cell phone down the toilet on a Metro-North train, then got his arm stuck trying to retreive it, then... well, wackiness ensued. Anyway, the Lucy Ricardo-goes-to-Scarsdale story was funny, but it's stale now. Worse yet, Elizabeth is, like, the toast of New York, writing a New York-based story, and working for New York magazine, but her blog post refers to... the Chicago Tribune?

Something is very wrong here.

Or maybe she's just had a thing about cell phones lately...

YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT?
Eek!
(Again, via Fark)

SPEAKING OF VOTING...
... this editorial out of Philadelphia is harsh. How bad do you have to be if the editorial endorsement goes to your opponent, who's been dead for a month?!
(Via Fark)

VOTE...
I voted this morning. You had better vote, too. If not, please refrain from bitching about your government. I don't want to hear it.

...AND GOOD LUCK!
I said it before and I'll say it again: a vote for a Byrnes is never a wasted vote.

MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE RANCH...
Tonight featured cocktails -- and gossip -- with a couple of fellow bloggers. It's all good... except for the few people we ragged on. But you'll never know who you are, so No Damage Done.

Big Drunkard Mistake (tm), though: I arrived home with a decent buzz, then decided to do laundry, which committed me to a 2-hour chore.

I'm not liking 2-hour chores right now. But... committed. And majorly hating not having one of those 'w/d in kitchen apts.'

WORST ALBUM COVERS EVER



(via NRO)

DEAN'S DOWNWARD SPIRAL CONTINUES
I want to like Howard Dean, so why does he keep breaking my heart? First, he described himself as a 'metrosexual.' And now Lloyd Grove reports that he's written, "When I drank, I would drink a lot and do outrageous things... I realized that what was very funny when you're 18 is not very funny when you're 30."

Heart. Breaking.

Of course it's still funny when you're 30. It's still funny when you're 44, dammit! Get your act together, Howard. We've already had one Jimmy Carter in my lifetime.

THE GAY ASSAULT ON THE EPISCOPAL CHURCH
Stolen from Sullivan, who grabbed it from somewhere else. And as an Episcopalian (albeit lapsed, if that's possible) I think this summarizes things quite nicely:

The actions taken by the New Hampshire Episcopalians
are an affront to Christians everywhere. I am just thankful
that the church's founder, Henry VIII, and his wife Catherine
of Aragon, and his wife Anne Boleyn, and his wife Jane Seymour,
and his wife Anne of Cleves, and his wife Katherine Howard, and
his wife Catherine Parr are no longer here to suffer through this
assault on traditional Christian marriage.