POLITICAL JUNKIE
As you know (because you have been hanging on my every word for the past three years) I used to be in politics. That was a long time ago, but, every year, when the weather gets crisper and fallen leaves blanket the sidewalks, I feel nostalgiac nostalgic* about the good old days of electioneering.

Which is my long way of saying that I am addicted to this site. And this site. And this and this and this. To the point of refreshing a few dozen times per day.

Confession: I even rescheduled a meeting from Wednesday morning to Thursday, because I know next Tuesday night will be a late one for me as I watch non-stop election coverage. Not a single New York State Assembly race will escape my interest.

Ah well. As hobbies go, it's more constructive than drinkling drinking**, right?



* - Corrected. Happy, Jess?

** - Corrected. And now I'm waiting to be hired as editor of Queerty!

READING IS HOT!
This just in from Houston:

Somewhat Famous Authors Greg Herren and The Teej demonstrate once again that Reading Is Hot! It's even hotter when you don't give the 'My Pet Goat' treatment to the literature, but we're taking baby steps here.

(Collect the entire set of photos at Becks's site.)

CALENDAR-MARKING TIME

Wednesday, November 15 6:00 PM
Gay Hollywood in New York

at
The LGBT Community Center
208 West 13th Street, New York

Hooray for Hollywood! Join us for an evening of cocktails, readings, discussion, and book signings as a handful of New York-based artists share how Hollywood and the film industry has both influenced and inspired them.

The evening will kick-off at 6 P.M. with cocktails and mingling. Then at 7 p.m. authors Andy Zeffer (Going Down in La-La Land), Stewart Lewis (Rockstarlet) and Rob Byrnes (When the Stars Come Out) will read fun snippets from their novels. Filmmaker Casper Andreas (Slutty Summer) will show scenes from his recently wrapped film A Four Letter Word, and actor/playwright Jamie Morris (Mommie Queerest, The Facts of Life: The Lost Episode) will display some stage magic. The evening promises to be lively, amusing, and entertaining.

Admission to the event is $15, and includes an open bar. [Emphasis mine, of course.]

Be there, bitches.

TAKE THAT, GAY AMERICAN
From the Lambda Rising Boostore's Buzzin' Dozen Bestsellers for Men for October 2006

1. The Zookeeper(Alyson Trade Paperback) by Alex MacLennan

2. Grief (Hyperion Hardcover) by Andrew Holleran

3. When the Stars Come Out (Kensington Hardcover) by Rob Byrnes

4. From Top to Bottom (Michael-Christopher Books Trade Paperback) by Michael-Christopher

5. My Undoing: Love in the Thick of Sex, Drugs, Pornography, and Prostitution (Carroll & Graf Trade Paperback) by Aiden Shaw

6. Commitment and Healing: Gay Men and the Need for Romantic Love (John Wiley & Sons Hardcover) by Richard A. Isay

7. Exiles in America(William Morrow & Co. Hardcover) by Christopher Bram

8. Daddy's Boyz: Tales of Intergenerational Adult Gay Sex (Starbooks Trade Paperback) by Bob Condron

9. Truckers: True Gay Erotica (Cleis Trade Paperback) by Johnny Hansen

10. [loser position] The Confession (ReganBooks Hardcover) by The Gay American


Let's see Oprah save your ass now, McGreevey. I own that bookstore!

OOF!

• Banksy, everyone's favorite guerilla artist, breaks a personal record by raking in £50,400. The image? A Kate Moss-as-Marilyn Monrow portrait. Um, okay... [BBC News]

I think everyone knows that should be 'Mary Lynn Munrow.'

Queerty regrets the error. And reminds you to vote for qwality bloggening!!

CHECKING IN
Sorry for the vanishing act. I've been sick, and just haven't felt like blogging.

New content coming soon. In the meantime, I have the feeling that all twelve of you can find other ways to occupy your time.

JUST A FEW SHORT BLOCKS FROM MY APARTMENT



I could have been killed. But did you call, text, or e-mail to express your concern? No.

I am so disappointed in my readers. Joe My God gets dozens of comments, and I get none? Wow. I thought you were past all that Trust Fund Boys-era animosity.


UPDATE: Uh... okay, your lack of concern tells me that you know I don't live that close to the accident. But if the plane had crashed .45 miles earlier, and -- instead of flying into the 40th Floor or whatever -- it had nosedived into the second floor, and if I had been home in the middle of the afternoon for the first time in three years, well... I could have been in danger!

Ah, screw it. You like Joe My God and not me. I accept that.

But if you want to see something really scary, blogger Kip Esq. is someone who has every reason to have his heart going thumpa-thump right now. Check out his entry from yesterday afternoon, and his exclusive home video.

TRAGEDY STRIKES ADVOCATE WRITER
My heart aches for red-headed writer Michael A. Knipp:

If I knew then what I know now—that standing out is actually a blessing—I would have embraced my uniqueness when I had the chance... Embracing age 25 this year, however, is a different story. That prospect hurts worse than any playground insult I’ve ever endured.

Poor thing. Too To endure red hair and extreme elderliness all in one lifetime! It's almost too much to bear!

Folks, this is the sort of tragedy they write operas about. I weep... I weep... but at least it's nice to know that The Advocate found space for this column. Otherwise they might have been forced to, oh, review a book or something.



[Post edited to change 'too' to 'to', since Chrisafer is such a perfectionist. Of course, the original misspelling was done on purpose, but still...]

JUST A COINCIDENCE. REALLY!
I swear that I am not mentioning Gawker again for the sake of mentioning Gawker. However, I would be remiss if I didn't address something in one of the site's most recent entries:

"It's hard to write a book in a month when I am busy whoring myself at Townhouse every night for rent money. So be prepared to lower your crazy expectations."

Not me. Are we clear on that? Not! Me!

I haven't tried to whore myself at The Townhouse in years.

RELATED: The Townhouse Magical Mystery Tour.

THEY FORGOT TO CAPITALIZE THE 'F'
Also, for the record, I used to be lustful. Then I entered a long-term relationship...

Your Deadly Sins

Pride: 60%

Sloth: 60%

Envy: 20%

Wrath: 20%

Gluttony: 0%

Greed: 0%

Lust: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 23%

You will become famous - and subsequently killed by a stalker.

How Sinful Are You?

MY EPIPHANY
In reading recent blog entries, I see a pattern emerging:

* August: Famous Author Rob Byrnes schemes to get his name in Gawker Stalker.

* September: Famous Author Rob Byrnes accuses Gawker of anti-gay bias to get their attention.

* September, again: Famous Author Rob Byrnes encourages you to send fake tips to Gawker.

* October: Famous Author Rob Byrnes includes Gawker in a list of gay media, for no other reason than to get their attention, and also because Alex Balk looks sort of like Mario Lopez.

* October, again... this very entry as a matter of fact: Famous Author Rob Byrnes writes that Balk looks like Mario Lopez for no other reason that to blatently suck up.

So what's my epiphany? This: I have turned into the modern, blogger equivalent of Lucy scheming to get into Ricky's show at the club. Except in color. And male. Ish.

Does this bother me? Not really. In fact, I am only posting this because I have an important question for my large and hopelessly devoted readership:

Who wants to be my Ethel?



Seriously. There could be a lot of wacky adventures in our future. Think about it.


UPDATE: Oh, uh, Hey, Gawkerettes! For the record, Balk is totally Joaquin Phoenix. No, really. Look, see? Just like he dresses when he hangs with Denton and Steele!

By the way, I was almost as killed as Alec Baldwin today, so I'd appreciate your sympathy. And by 'almost killed', I mean that it was really inconvenient for me to get home tonight, so I had to go to a bar for a while. You are Gawker-type people, so you understand...

I FEEL THEIR PAIN
True story: back in the late '80s/early '90s, I worked for a Member of the New York State Assembly, and one of my responsibilities was to write the quarterly newsletter. The newsletters often included constituent surveys, and one question we intended to ask in this particular survey was:

* Do you support a ban on smoking in public places?

Keep that question in mind when you read this linked article. And then just imagine my embarrassment when that newletter hit 40,000 mailboxes across that Assembly district.

READING IS HOT!
Okay, I know that yesterday I wrote that gay literature is being over-exposed by the gay media. Still, I was honored to learn this morning that my books are to be featured in a new collaborative campaign in which print and electronic gay outlets work to increase literacy among The Gays: "Reading is Hot!"

Granted, I am less enthusiastic about the campaign tagline -- 'Washington pages aren't the only pages we turn over! -- but I've got to work with what they've given me.

So let me give a shout out to all of those who made this possible: The Advocate, Out, Genre, 365Gay.com, PlanetOut, Towleroad, Gay City News, HX, Next, the New York Blade, Window Media, Queerty, Instinct, After Elton, After Ellen, and the new Gay Gawker.

Look for the following promos in upcoming weeks! And remember: Buy the Damn Books!






NOTES: (1) "Reading is HOT!" artwork may not actually resemble the graphics above, which were designed by an anonymous person. (2) "Reading is HOT!" cooperative campaign may, in fact, be made up out of spite, and not an actual cooperative campaign. (3) Nothing in this entry shall be interpreted to indicate that any of the above-listed print and electronic media outlets and/or blogs have any interest whatsoever in reading or the promotion of gay writers or the advancement of the homosexual agenda. Execpt Gawker.

OVER-REVIEWED
You know what really bothers gay writers? Every time we turn around, another gay media outlet is reviewing our work! I wish they would stop doing that. It's... oppressive.

Yes, I know that the gay media feels a responsibility to bring gay titles to the attention of gay readers. Otherwise, they would focus almost exclusively on music and gossip, rather than being obsessed with gay literature. But -- and here I absolutely speak for every gay writer, with the possible exceptions of Augusten Burroughs, David Sedaris, and The Gay American -- gay writers are getting sick and tired of all this attention.

It's just too much! The Advocate is starting to resemble a gay version of The New York Review of Books. Genre increasingly reads like a homosexual version of Publishers Weekly. They might as well just change the name of Out to The Big Gay Magazine About Big Gay Books. It's embarrassing.

Thank God 365Gay.com has the courage to break the mold. In a day when gay readers are being over-exposed to gay writers and gay literature, 365Gay.com has taken the bold step of reviewing a book by a New York Times best-selling writer which seems to have no discernible gay content. And let me be the first to say that it's about time!

Hopefully, the rest of the gay media will join 365Gay.com and start to leave gay writers alone. Hey, Advocate! Hey, Genre! Hey, Out! Would you PLEASE review a CD or a concert or a television show?!!

On behalf of all gay writers who are not Burroughs, Sedaris, or The Gay American, I thank you.

"BUT HE WAS GRANTED ONE MORE START..."
John Mark Karr goes looking for Roxie Hart.


Memo to self: less time with Broadway musicals; more time with life.

WHEN HEADLINE WRITERS PHONE IT IN
The Associated Press gets into a rut:

Senate Hopefuls in Tenn. Square Off

Hawaii Governor Candidates Square Off

Texas Governor Candidates Square Off

Well, it's a quasi-holiday weekend, so I suppose it's understandable that they don't want to tax their creativity.

THE MYSTERIES OF RHYMING SOMETHING WITH 'PITTSBURGH'
I must be totally stupid this afternoon -- no comment needed from the likes of you, thank you very much -- but I have have had my brain flipping through the mental pages of a rhyming dictionary for a while and I can't figure this out:

Sienna Miller apologized Friday for disparaging Pittsburgh in a magazine interview, saying her remarks were taken out of context and that she found the city and residents gracious...
The 24-year-old British actress, in town shooting the screen adaptation of Michael Chabon's novel "The Mysteries of Pittsburgh," called the city a profane name that rhymes [with] Pittsburgh.

So... uh... what profane name rhymes with 'Pittsburgh.' A little help?


UPDATE: Never mind. The word is 'Shitsburgh.' Eh... not really worth my effort. And if that's what passes for clever in the world of Sienna, no wonder Jude fucked the nanny.

MORE WOBBLY SPINNING
Drudge is dragging out the 144-point type, so you know this must be important!

CLAIM: FILTHY FOLEY ONLINE MESSAGES WERE PAGE PRANK GONE AWRY
**World Exclusive**
**Must Credit the DRUDGE REPORT**

According to two people close to former congressional page Jordan Edmund, the now famous lurid AOL Instant Message exchanges that led to the resignation of Mark Foley were part of an online prank that by mistake got into the hands of enemy political operatives, the DRUDGE REPORT can reveal.

According to one Oklahoma source who knows the former page very well, Edmund, a conservative Republican, goaded an unwitting Foley to type embarrassing comments that were then shared with a small group of young Hill politicos...

Wait, what was that?

Edmund, a conservative Republican

Surely my eyes deceive me! A conservative Republican did this? To another Republican? Why, that's absurd!

Oh wait. There's more...

The prank went awry when the saved IM sessions got into the hands of political operatives favorable to Democrats.

There we go! I just knew the Democrats had to be at the root of this! And of course...

The prank scenario was confirmed by a second associate of Edmund. Both are fearful that their political careers will be affected if they are publicly brought into the investigation.

Awwwww. So we may never know who these two young politicos are, because they can't come forward, because then their careers will be ruined. By (all together now) the Democrats!

Coincidentally, the Democrats made sure I got stale bread today at Subway. They are a tricky bunch, you know...


UPDATE: Democratic dirty ticksters have now apparently infiltrated the ranks of the survivors of clergy pedohilia. Honestly, will they stop at nothing?!!

NOT TO BE OBSESSIVE, BUT...
...what am I missing here? Let's break down the latest Fordham-Hastert-Reynolds article from the Rochester Democrat & Chronicle paragraph by paragraph, shall we?

1. Rep. Tom Reynolds' chief of staff resigned Wednesday, saying he had informed House Speaker Dennis Hastert's office at least two years ago of "inappropriate behavior" toward congressional pages by disgraced former Rep. Mark Foley.

2. Kirk Fordham, a Greece native, said he will talk to the FBI today. Hastert's office disputes Fordham's account.

3. Fordham said he told Hastert's chief of staff, Scott Palmer, two years ago that he had received calls from the House Clerk's Office, which oversees pages, cautioning him that Foley was being too chummy with them. Fordham said he was seeking guidance on what to do.

4. Fordham, who worked for the Florida Republican for 10 years, said he also warned Foley not to be so friendly with the pages but worried that he was not taking it seriously.

5. Fordham said Palmer also talked to Foley, and informed Hastert, which Palmer denied.

6. Fordham said he went public with his story Wednesday after he learned the media was going to report he had tried to block a House page board investigation of Foley when Fordham still worked for the Florida Republican. Fordham called that allegation a lie.

However:

7. "It is clear the Democrats are intent on making me a political issue in my boss's race, and I will not let them do so," Fordham said. He said Reynolds did not ask him to resign.

Then again:

8. Fordham also came under attack Tuesday amid reports that he had tried to persuade ABC News not to publish the most explicit of Foley's computer messages on its Web site.


I am so confused. Six paragraphs of Republican Fordham vs. Republican Hastert's Republican office; a few unfavorably references to the behavior of Republican Foley; a final paragraph indicating that Republican Fordham might have interacted inappropriately with the media...

And a seventh paragraph in which this is, of course, the fault of the Democrats.

Mmmmmmokay.

It's hard to muster much sympathy for politicians who have such contempt for our intelligence.

THE GANG THAT COULDN'T SPIN STRAIGHT

Reynolds' aide, a Greece native, resigns

Joseph Spector
Staff writer

(October 4, 2006) — "I have resigned today from Congressman Tom Reynolds' office," said chief of staff Kirk Fordham in an official email from the office of Rep. Reynolds, R-Clarence, Erie County.

"It is clear the Democrats are intent on making me a political issue in my boss's race, and I will not let them do so," said Fordham, a lifelong Greece native.

But:

The finger-pointing has already begun, however, with anonymous pro-Fordham sources telling ABC that Fordham is being used as a “scapegoat” by House Speaker Dennis Hastert, who is himself under fire for his handing of the Foley scandal.

The sources say Fordham “had repeatedly warned Hastert’s staff about Foley’s “problem” with pages, but little was done.”

And:

Capitol Hill sources say Fordham's resignation was demanded by Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert, whose job is on the line because of his handling of the page scandal.

You've got to hand it to gay man Kirk Fordham. Despite every indication that it's GOP Big Boss Dennis Hastert who wants his ass, he's going down blaming the Democrats. Because that's what Republicans do, I guess...

The good news: if Kirk keeps staying on message, he'll be back in Washington before you know it. Maybe even as a lobbyist...


UPDATE: The Usual Suspects drink their gallon of GOP Kool-Aid and opine that this is yet another liberal Democratic attack against The Gays, who are ordinarily embraced and sometimes even breastfed by their Republican protectors. Yikes. Then again, Noted Gay Rights Activist LaShawn Barber has given their post a trackback, so I think it's fair to say that the Gay Patriotic Duo can best be known by the company they keep.


UPDATE McUPDATE: Oh good lord... What is wrong with this picture?
What I truly appreciate about the Republicans is the thoroughness of their cleansing rituals. (Via Gay Orbit)

DERBYSHIRE MAKES ME HARD
Former Honorariest Homo John Derbyshire waxes McGreeveyesque at NRO:

Even if we believe that male homosexuals are precisely as attracted to male jail-bait as male heterosexuals are to the female euqivalent, the association of male homosexuality with under-age sex would still have some excuse... All human males are sexually attracted to the freshness of youth, including unlawfully extreme youth, in sex partners.

Ah, the freshness of youth...

...

...

I need a cold shower now.

EVERYTHING OLD IS NEW AGAIN
Matt Drudge: newsbreaker! Must credit Drudge! Must credit Drudge!

XXXXX DRUDGE REPORT XXXXX OCT 01, 2006 19:42:01 ET XXXXX

FOX MOVIE: 'MAY BUSH DRINK BLOOD OF EVERY MAN, WOMAN, CHILD IN IRAQ'... Developing...

Nothing like recycling news from almost two years ago and sticking your own copyright on the story, right?

"And may George W. Bush drink the blood of every man, woman and child in Iraq," he continued.

I'm sure Drudge regrets the error...

WANT TO PLAY WITH ME?
For the past two months, a group of us have played an on-line game of trivia from Mondays through Fridays. Uh... before and after work, of course.

Want to play? Just follow the link below. It's fast (figure 50-90 seconds out of your day) and can be fun... especially if you get into the trash-talk going on in the 'Shout Out!' section. Don't worry that you don't know the players... yes, most of us come from the Hell's Kitchen gay bar crowd in Manhattan, but we're very open-minded.

Here are the only things you need to know:

1. Points Awarded are determined on a daily basis based on your score and the number of players. My ex ("spt") has figured out the formula, but I don't have a clue. As far as I'm concerned, you get what you get.

2. Your score is based on the number of questions you get correct (100 points per correct answer) minus the number of seconds it takes you to complete the quiz. For example, today I had 10 correct answers, and took 59 seconds, giving me a score of 941 (1000 - 59).

3. Don't think of this as a one-day game. It becomes a lot more fun as you play over the course of the month, and watch things heat up.

Okay... go get'em, tigers:

Posh Table A Trivia Tournament Daily Trivia

UPDATE: My bad. Link now fixed. No more drunken blogging for me!